One thing I have noticed as terminal ill or living a lifestyle that does not fit into the so-called “normal” norms of life, is that people will assume their words are harmless but in fact, it is the total opposite.
When it comes to illnesses, many people joke and find it quite humorous. As the victim, all you do is laugh it off when in fact it leaves a mark deep down in your heart, especially when those remarks come from “friends” or “family. The reason for this article is to hopefully help you in dealing with this and on the same token, show you that you are not alone.
I am sure by this stage you have come to partial terms with your condition or circumstances that cannot change that affects your life. Once acceptance (the most difficult part) is done you will win 80 percent of the battle.
No matter how much people say they “understand”, they do not and never will until they have or will one day walk the same path IN the same shoes that you have. This easily causes them to make judgments and cause misunderstanding. You will find a lot of them making jokes about the length of life or even laugh at your symptoms when in fact they do not know how much it affects you.
Start from understanding that as much as you try, they will not change their attitude if they have not experienced what you are going through. You are going to have to be the better person in this scenario, understand that you have been “blessed” with this illness or difficulty in life. Why I say blessed? Simply because the person you are today is the result of that. Use their remarks as motivation, that added push to prove everyone wrong. Use it to accomplish things that others would have never thought you were able to do. At the same time you should embark on a journey on sharing your story and get your actual feelings out there, be it a blog, motivational speaking (cause your story is surely motivating), social media or just a general chat in the shopping queue. Show the world that although you have this huge hurdle to face, you still managed to come out on top.
1. Use their words as motivation.
2. Prove everyone and even yourself wrong.
3. Make your story known (If you are ready)
4. Use it to teach yourself to be independent and less dependent on people, especially when it comes to your feelings.
5. Find ways to keep calm (meditate, read etc)
6. Set tasks for each time that someone undermines you (eg. Read a page or save a dollar everytime it happens) Remember the common saying “If I had a dollar for…” Apply this.
There is much more to this which we will cover soon, as usual, we leave you with this summary and really hope it helps!